my thoughts on twenty'eleven.

if you had asked me in January what i thought the future had for 2011 eleven i probably would have been so hyped so ready to go.

like.. i think that's when my spiritual life was at its peak, like i was handling things like possible future relationships seriously (like i was a big woman) &everything was bliss.

couple of months down the line obviously, things kinda changed in a funny way, lool. cause i would have never seen some of the events happening, but tbh 2011 had a theme: Complacency.

we're in December and i think i have learnt alot, obvi im blessed for living through another year, i mean the amount of people that entered the new year, &are not here to see the end is ridiculous.

i've learnt a couple of things;

one. - dont deal all your cards at once.

i'm known to have a hard exterior but this year i let that down. a lot. TOO MUCH even. i never did that cause i think it shows vulnerability blahblah, but seriously, especially if you're a young-ish girl, it can backfire or not always go the way you planned, &then it becomes hard for you to take back things you've said, or the actions you carried out.

two. - everybody has their personal battles.

2011 has definitely opened my eyes to the problems that even my closest of friends encounter. like no one is susceptible to trials&tribulations. my problem isnt bigger than then next persons issue, so i have learnt to be so much more sympathetic towards people.

three. - people like to assume.

this is self explanatory. people have assumed things about my character, about the level they are on with me, people get WAY TOO comfortable with me, and me being a tolerable person, i just sit back and say nothing. MAATEE. not anymore i'm tired of people trying to get close to me in a short space of time&ASSUME (key word here) that i'm cool when they mock me publicly.. &they still expect me to laugh *major sideye*

four. - I AM SO #CASJ

im such a calm person maan. i have also been exposed to the dangers of 'female behaviour/thinking' and how irritating it is, &how the company of guys is so much more #CALM. it is not also a good look though, but, hey.

fifth. - the power of testimonies.

TESTIMONIES ARE SO POWERFUL. & when you see the power of God working in other peoples lives, its just so amazing, mkes you yearn for an experience too. sometimes you get caught up in the emotion of it all, but seriously when you allow the Holy Spirit to use you.. hmm 'big tings ah gwaaarrn' (ha ha ha)

anyways peace, love&hairgrease to 2011 ! *throws hat up in the air*

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

TWENTY'ELEVEN.

SO , HERE ARE SOME PICTURES FROM THIS YEAR THAT I TOOK WITH MY SNAZZ M'GAZ CAMERA.

hello there..

i have been MIA for a long while, but mmm, i think i'll start posting again, if theres anybody ACTUALLY out there..

more postsss: SOON COME.

OOTD - Sunday.

my outfit from Sunday

headscarf - vintage

everything else, is basically primark exceptt urm my top (H&M) and my belt (NewLook)

and the bag was a gift :)

New Years Muthaaaaa.

Happy New Year Guyss!!

so yeah its that time of "resolutions" and all that jazz LOL.. here a few of mine.

1. This is my main: Iron my clothes everytime i leave the house.. like to go ANYWHERE.

2. Grow my hair longer.. not at the length i want it to be atm.

3. Eat healthier - OBVI, not gonna happen but i'll try all the same :L

4. Be Nicer to people. suprisingly, it gives me this warm feeling inside. i think its called compassion.

thats all.. dont wanna set too many and all of them are a big flop, LOL. but on a serious note, alot of people have been gunning down people trying to change in the new year.. why?

maybe its because yuu have so many failed attempts of bettering yurself, year after year ... causing yuu to give up and some what pity every other individual that chooses to go that path. yur obviously doing something wrong year after year, so if something isnt working.. CHANGE IT.

anyway, i really want 2011 to be a different and an amazing year for me.. so here goes i guess ;)

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Albert Einstein, (attributed)
US (German-born) physicist (1879 - 1955)

Semanje - NEW ADDTITION TO MY ELECTRICAL FAMILIA.

here it is♥ ;
so, i asked my mum for a camera. it was on of those.. "oh im just asking for the sake of it, and maybe in a million years, in my deepest dreams she'll say yes" ... and she did so here i am.. sitting with a Nikon in my lap :)

is that yuu yeah ;)

LOLOLOL. love ya Yan♥

BOXING DAY HAUL BAYBAY.

THIS WAS ACTUALLY WRITTEN ON THE 26TH DECEMBER.

Outfit for the day.. (hair was not on point at this moment in time)

Cardigan - Present

Top - Next, £10.00

Body Con Skirt, H&M, £3.99

Belt, Primark, £2.00
ooh i had fun today :) okay rightt...

Top - River Island Sale, £15.00

Maxi Skirt - H&M, £7.00

Skirt - River Island Sale, £15.00

Plaited Belt - Primark, £2.00

mmm,

Brouges - Primark, £8.00

Bag (my love♥) Peacocks, £10.00
okay, these are a couple of things i've bought over the past.. two weekss :)

what we see here is:

"Afrotic" West Indian Castor Oil - All To One, £1.99

ChoCho Creme - brought from Ghana

E45 - Superdrug, £1.85

Rosa de Amor - Superdrug, £0.99

"Organics" Carrot Tea-Tree Oil Therapy - Rumours, £2.99

Boots Natural Collection Mango&Papaya Body Spray - Gift.

"Impulse" Into Glamour - Gift. (in Superdrug for £1.00)

"Aussie" Take The Heat Leave-In Spray (for heat damaged hair) - Superdrug, £4.49

Sleek Makeup, Pout Polish SPF 15 - Superdrug, £4.39

Sleek Makeup Eye Dust - Superdrug, £3.05

Vaseline Lip Therapy♥.. COCOA BUTTER. zomg. (got excited about this one) - Superdrug, £1.89

NYC Minute Quick Dry Nail Polish x2 - Superdrug, £2.59 each

Far Left: Sleek Eye Dust #colour: Dirty|Next to it Tinted Lip Conditioner #colour: Perfect Plum

Right: NYC Nail Varnish #colour: Central Park

Also Bought it in #colour Grand Central Park

those are odd names for nail varnishes, but ah well.

its obvious i bum love Superdrug ;)

until next time my loveliesss ♥

nom nom nom ;)

GOTBOOTS. GOTBOOTS. GOTBOOTS.

boysboysboys.

before i begin, this isnt to ALL boys, just generally the ones i see about, encounter etc etc.

what I personally fail to see, is why boys think be a "player" & a "dog" is acceptable, or good.

nooo, its not. its selfishh.

if a girl even thought about doing it, she's be branded a "sket" or whatever name yuu wanna call her, but then boys get ratings and become five star generals. hmmmm.

personally, i think the behaviour os some guys has deteriorated over the last couple of years, especially in Reading :/ the way guys are going through girls is just disgustingg, but then yet, at the end of they day.. a guy would still rather get serious or marry a virgin. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE.

reasons that guys approach girls are usually for "beating" reasons -___- and another thing. I'm OBVIOUSLY going to see warning signs when yuu try and step to me like this:

"OI! "

"..."

"OI! OI MYSIZE?! COME HERE."

lets say for scenario's sake I walk over there..

"yes?"

"ooh, yur kinda of buff, still. ay, set me your number, init. "

ONE. why are yuu shouting/whistling/making noise? is that even appropriate? am i a dog that yuu should be calling me like that.

TWO. DID MY MOTHER NAME ME "MYSIZE", cause I'm sure if yuu check my birth certificate, yuu will find no such thing there.

THREE. why would i give yuu my number if i just met yuu, like literally off the street. surely yuu have other things to do with yur life, than just stand on corners looking jobless finding girls in the street. one day, yuu will meet a psycho, and i pray she never leaves yuu alone.

another thing.. if yuu know yuu love&respect yur mum, then the same way yuu love and respect her, is the same way yuu should treat a girl. there's no confusion or hesistation.

playing games is not fun either. if yuu know yuu dontt know what yuu want, can yuu please make this clear so people arent wasting time going round in circles? k, thanks.

I think the issue here is respect. this is both girls AND boys fault. if girls didn't fall so easily to the sweet nothings certain boys say in their ears, boys would not easily take advantage like they do.

but tbh, guys. why waste yur time with short term useless flings? yuu either get serious with yur future, or look for someone yuu actually want to spend time with? because in the end, when yuu feeel like settling down, who's gonna want an dog, who has used, been used, and if probably not as good looking as they were anyways?

the A word.

the A word.

ABORTION.

yes yes yes, this very word has caused so much controversy, its unbelievable.

personally i think its WRONG.

mainly because of my Christian values, but also before of my ethical values as well. i mean yuu could argue and say its not a fully formed baby yet reh teh teh..

butt if yuu grow a plant and it growingg and yuu can only see the shoot growingg, does that mean its not a plant?

precisely.

just becausee, the child or whatever yuu wanna call it has not grown a heart and lungs etc etc, doesnt make it less human that the rest of us.

if i went round stamping on every growingg thing in the soil, because it was "in the way" i would eventually die of no oxygen supply. abortingg babies all the time, will eventually have an effect, i dont know how but every choice we make now, does not only make a difference for today but for the rest of our livess.

yuu may argue and say, "but hey, what if i was raped?"

well, it wasnt the baby's fault yuu were rapedd. fair enough it's a horrible experience yuu never want to remember, but if yuu cant bare looking at the baby every day.. give it up for adoption. there are plenty of willing couples waiting at any opportunity to have a child they can call their own.

oh, but what annoys me alot is when parents find out there's a chance that thier child could be disabled. and then they abort it.

i meann .. what? like seriouslyy.

to me this reminds me of Hitler and the "perfect race" wheere he killed all the disabled people. disabled people are no less human than we, and are usually extremely loving. like if yuu can't bear the stress etc etc, like i said before, give the child up.

firstly, if yur getting an abortion beecause "oh the condom split" let me remind yuu. if yur not responsible enough or rich enough, or earning enough for yurself yet, for yuu to be having an abortion. really, ideally yuu shouldn't be sleeping with... anybody.

abortions are really really horrible thingss, like i've seen fotos of aborted babies and its just putrid.

when yuu see a child playing and growing into its full potential, why would yuu basically get rid of something beautiful as that, especially if that was yur own flesh and blood?

*sighhh. not to mention it can also ruin yur chances of having children when yur olderr.

REMEMBER: choices yuu make today will also bare for consequence for yur future♥

yeah Health services.. yur really not helping.

so i was thinking about this word once again.

ABSTINENCE. yup, thats how small the word means in our daily lives.

you know, saving "certain" things till yuu get married. like i talked aboutt in one of the blogs down there.

but i was on the fone to my friend and the topic came up again, and was just thinking.

"the NHS are really not helping the situation"

instead of sayingg, "do yuu know what, at LEAST save it till yur a bit older"

its, "aah, yuu've had sex eh? have a "FREE CONDOM"

" have THE PILL"

" don't wan't it? its okay have an ABORTION"

whatt is going on here?! i mean health services complain about the amount of teenage pregnancies increasing, yada yada, so what do they do about it? they encourage it even more.

the government even have AN AGE as to when you can have intercourse, but then they contradict themselves by giving out free condoms, and lipping.. condom cards!? c'mon now, what sort of nonentity is thatt.

losingg 'the bigg one'

beat, smash, lash, screw, 'tapping thatt ass' whatever yuu want to call it, people our age just are at it more than everr. and for what reason? its beyond me. everyone seems to be aimlessly doing it, or maybe some people do have an aim, who knowss? but sitting in class listening to guys and girlss who have slept with chloe, breanna , shaniqua, ray-j and 'Don stitch/and or plaster' (har har) trying to mind yur business when,

'' hey guuuurll who have yuu slept with?''

''erm.. no one''

''whaaaaaaaaaaa-?!''

'' im a VIRGIN''

*shock, horror, music stopss, jaws drop, birds diee*

i mean wtd? why is it so much of a shock? its like 'naaaaaaaaah i can't do that, that takes the mick , i couldnt survive''

¬_¬ -_________-

well how have yuu been surviving the rest of yur twelve yearss on this earth without engaging in intercourse. c'mon now lets not be silly.

now, if someone would kindly approach me and tell me a valid reason for sleeping with someone at this age. anyone? anybody? no? okayy.

precisely. i mean, dont give those eyes, thinking im a mad woman because i havent slept with anyone, or haven't gone 'this far' with anyone. what is my business between sheets, when i should be between my books, trying to please my mother and God? at the end of the day, yuu could say it comes down to self worth. or lack of.

im not trying to say that everyone who has slept with someone at this age is a sket/slag/whore, watevss, all im trying to say that at the end of the day what could yuu possibly gain, right now at this age? lemme tell yuu.

1. a baby

2. an STD

3. and probably a form of short lived pleasure.

boys nowadayss, just sleep with girls to get ratingss from thierr friendss. '' ahh fam, i beat chelsea yesterdayy, reh teh teh'' and then his boys , idk what they do, applaud him or somethinggg. with girlss, its either ''oh yur a sket, yur nasty'' or ''OMG! REALLY!? aah he's buff, easssssssyy''

NO. JUSTT NO. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

if yuu could understand the emotional tension yuu put yur mind through everytime yuu sleep with a boy/girl and yur leaving a piece of yurself with each person. maybe not so much boys but girls yess. especially if the girl is seeking for 'true love' and she thinks she'll find it in sex, so she is never satified and keeps on going from guy to guy. thats one mentally damagedd chickk right there.

then there's this whole issues of 'beat and delete' , 'lash and dash' , 'use and abuse' . yani, would he/shhe be able to do this if yuu were reading yur bookss. no, no, no,no.

i mean im not condemingg, im disaprovingg. lets think about thiss shall weee;

yur married, to the person who yuu think is yur one and only, soulmate, watever.

he's still virginal as are yuu. its very special because he'll be the first and last yuu lose it too, and yuu know he wont have any STDs, because he slept with ten other women last week, meaning yuu also wouldnt have slept with them, and thier disease. yuu have a baby, so whatt? yur married there's no real issuess, no embarrasment or dissapointmentt. perfecto.

now picture this;

yur fifteen yuu slept with , idk , 'Devontae' now yur preggers..

he ran away and denied being yur baby daddy, yur mum kicked yuu out, yur friends arent really yur friendss and now yur alone not knowing what to do? worst case senario. unless yuu abort the beautiful baby, which is another blog all togetherr.

i was watchingg 'The House Bunny' the other day, and the girl announced (well she whispered) how she was a virgin. so her firends organised this whole orgy party so she could loose it 'as soon as possible' i mean WHYYYYYYYYYY???!!

but yeahh, there is NO rush, NO urgency. just be a fifteen year old and do what fifteen year olds are meant to do. cause yur virginity isnt something yuu can find at lost property. ati, when its gone, its GONEE. (physically anywayss) then yuu may end up regretting it, like i know many people do.

so yeahh, ask me 'are yuu virginal' and i'll answer 'yayyerr, im still a proud holder of my v-card'

last notee; 1 corinthians 7;2, 1 corinthians 6;13 & 1 Thessalonians 4;3-4

fuuun, fun , fun ♥

went to a concert tonightt; twas goooood mann. and on another note, my christian life needs to get beetter. like i dont understand the more my yearning for God, it seems the distant i becomee. i neeed helppppppppp -_- x

sizes, sizes, sizes.

where did this whole ' size zero, is the perfect size for ever woman'? i mean im not very curvy myself but i'd loooove love love ♥ to have curves. so when i see beautifully curvy girls/women trying to loose what they mama's gave theeem.

<--- i mean look at her. in my eyes she iss b-e-a-utifull man, who's to say curves is ugly? as long as yur healthy and yu've gained those curves, due to a good diet, why should yuu aim to starve yurself, to look like those skinny people, that even they, are not secure about themselves?
this woman here. i dont comprehend, cause like why would yuu wanna look like this. yur surviving on a cracker and a glass of water a day, to get this certain 'look'. it's also encouraging the black community to follow. i mean we was BORN with curvess. thats how God made us. whyy, whu, oh why change that. i for one love food, so if any magazine came to tell me that to be size six is the one i would just tell them they're joking. so what? i should through all my well earnt food in the bin to look like a supermodel for who? the fifteen year old boy that is chasing me to marry him? KMT. media has distorted every view of a persons well being, appearance and even how to act in relationships. methinks, itss time people start using common sense to decide whether what they're being fed, is logical in any way.
i meannn WHY. what was wrong with her beforee? and even now, she is still considered ''FAT''.

racism, blehh.

so , last nightt i was on the phone to one of my closest friends, and she was telling me about some mahoosive argument that was going on, on some facebook group -

''Jus cuz Im BLACK Doesnt Mean I STEAL, So STOP Following me in ur DAMN STORE.''

so, obvi i check it out, and this guy is saying how black people are criminals, and the ccopss should keep an eye on them yada yada, and obviously the odd 30,000 black people that joined the group all come down on him and this other ( who is 1/4 black which justifies her ignorance, appaz.) like a ton of armadillos, saying how thats not true for all black people and ''hey , why did yuu even join this group?''
yeah, so this guy is still waffling on, about reh teh teh teh, ''minorities commit more crimes'' , then this one stupid individual commes along and is like, i quote;

''I'm sorry but if it wasn't for racist white people taking all of you people as slaves 400 years ago, you niggers would still be in shitty africa. So as far as i'm concerned you don't have a right to complain that we follow you in stores. Sorry i'm racist but its true. So if you don't like it get the hell out.''

¬_¬ skeen. and it just made me come to the realisation that, obvi, racism is still gonna be there no matter how much teaching you've had there's still gonna be those stupid ignorant fishes, that can't get it in there thick ass heads that we're humans and we dont all need to be kept under wrapss. jheezeee.